i can do hard things

Lately I have felt a little frustrated. Life's hard sometimes, ya know? I feel like I run into the SAME brick walls over and over again in some aspects of my life. And I don't feel good enough in some other areas.

I am really hard on myself. I know that. I always have been. I try not to be. I am sometimes hard on those I love. I wish I wasn't. I guess I just see the potential in life! I see goals, where I want to be and what I want to happen. And I want it NOW. I know. I know. Patience Lisa.

Ironically now that I am feeling almost back to normal, health-wise, things have finally caught up to me. Apparently I was in survival mode before and didn't deal with it mentally and emotionally.

I haven't started running yet. Well I tried but failed miserably. Bills have come in. If you know me, you know money stresses me out more than anything. And the side effects of medicine the doctors put me on is starting to take its toll. Something I knew was coming (and in the grand-scheme of things is minimal), but something I've been dreading.

This saying has been going through my head for the past couple of days...

I have heard this quote before many times in various contexts. It is even my sister-in-law's 2012 Family Motto. Good motto, huh? Maybe I need to be a Fackrell :).

I can do hard things. I can do it! When I get to only a quarter of a mile and feel like I am going to keel over dead ... I need to tell myself that. When I run into another bump in the road or brick wall ... I need to remember that. When I don't feel good enough for whatever it is ... I need to believe I am.

That's it. From now on, I can do hard things! Hold me to it.

life according to my phone

1. On our honeymoon Scott and I were interviewed by the TV show The Drs. We both didn't think we would actually air cause we never returned their phone calls, but my sister happened to have the TV on when I was talking with her one day and she screamed and was like ... Lisa you were just on TV!!! We're pretty much famous.

2. While Scott was out of town last week I had dinner with a couple friends throughout the week. It was so fun catching up with them. In the matter of minutes I fell in love with this little guy!

3. I also had this brilliant idea to make a maxi skirt. They only have a few seams so how hard could it be to make, right? Let's just say I am not wearing that thing anytime soon. It looks like something straight out of Little House on the Prairie. I think I need stick with quilts from now on.

4. I am starting to seriously contemplate furniture purchases. It's a good thing I don't have a bigger car ... otherwise I'd be in big trouble.

5. and 6. On Saturday I went shopping with my sister and one of my nieces. That girl is a crack up. At the grocery store she knew exactly how to get a free cookie from the bakery. Yep. She already knows how to work the system.

7. This picture, sent to me from NYC, made my heart melt. (p.s. Nohea girl has given me unrealistic expectations for motherhood).

8. Got a bouquet of pretty flowers when Scott got back from New York. I sure felt loved!

9. I may have bought a pair of aviators while shopping on Saturday. I am kinda obsessed with them.

Just dreaming

It's no secret. I love to decorate. I wish I could get paid to decorate people's homes for them. Better yet, I wish people gave me money to decorate my own home.

Sometimes I'll be on pinterest and joke with Scotty that I'm decorating the house we don't have. That soon may become a reality! Though I still think I'll have to keep dreaming ... I mean furniture is expensive!

Here are some pieces and styles I'm loving/eying for our imaginary home...well imaginary at least for now...

{ images via Pinterest }

The Irony of Life

Let the pity party commence. Ready. Go.

Before Scott and I got engaged I had been planning a trip with Gillian to go visit Lia in New York City. The Big Apple baby! It was going to be the trip of all trips. Not really. But we sure were planning a fun time! It's always a fun time with us.

Remember this?

But ... when we got engaged life got beyond busy and I couldn't even think about the trip until after the wedding. So I held off. Then all of the post-wedding health drama happened ... the blood clots being the culminating factor ... And I decided that it would be best, both financially and physically, if I stay put.

I was so so sad to cancel on the trip!

Last week Scotty came home and told me that a business trip had been scheduled for an entire week to New York.The kicker? It was for this week, which means he would be there the EXACT same time I would have been there! Not to mention this is the longest we have been apart since we started dating.

Scotty went to dinner with the Barlows last night. I almost cried when he told me he was going to dinner with them. If I could've teleported myself there, I would have in a heartbeat.

So my husband and two home-girls, people whom I love so much, are off gallivanting in the Big Apple while I am here. This is where you can feel sorry for me. I guess this is what I get for canceling my first date with Scotty to go to New York. Karma? Perhaps.

OK. Pity party over.

My Neighborhood

May has finally arrived and hopefully the good weather is here to stay. Since I am not back to running yet, I decided to take a walk around my neighborhood the other day ... camera in tow.

It's sure beautiful around these parts right now.

Hospital Stay, Mint Jeans and Instagrams To Prove

Can life get any crazier? Seriously. I never thought my first six weeks of marriage would be like how they've turned out to be. Don't be mistaken I am happy! It's what has happened to me from the outside (or I guess I should say inside) that I could do without.

Remember how my platelets got dangerously low? It gets even crazier.

Let's start with Easter weekend why don't we?

Scott and I drove down Friday evening to meet up with his family for a quick getaway in St. George, Utah. It's warm down there and apparently the place to be for spring break. Saturday was so much fun. We spent it in the the sand dunes playing games and then at the pool!

Late Saturday night, early Easter morning, I woke up with the most excruciating pain I have ever had!! It was sharp pains on my left side that felt like my ribs had been broken and were poking inward. After a few hours of tossing and turning ... not to mention I was in tears and could barely breathe ... Scotty finally was like We're going to the hospital. I was a little hesitant to agree because I am the "new" one in the family and I didn't want to be a drama queen. Especially on a holiday! I am so glad we went though. They found several small blood clots in my lungs. It was definitely something I never thought I would hear and I was scared. I mean people can die from them. I was so grateful to have Scotty there with me, though I think I've given him enough to worry about lately.

They kept me overnight. I have never stayed in a hospital overnight. My mother-in-law was so sweet and stayed with me while everyone else headed home. I was surprisingly discharged the next afternoon. I was in no condition to drive the four hours back home so my parents (who are saints and drove all night from Washington) got a hotel and we drove back on Tuesday.

So that's how I spent my Easter Sunday. Pretty crazy and very scary but I am grateful we went into the hospital, for modern medicine ... and pain killers (wow those things are strong).

The rest of the week I spent recovering with my parents while Scott was at work. I even ventured out to go on a walk and go shopping on Thursday. I felt like (and probably looked more so) a sickly person but it was good for the soul to get out.

On Saturday we met up with all my family at City Creek in Salt Lake City. It's always a good time with my family. Not to mention I got stopped six times by people asking me where I got my mint colored jeans (Urban Outfitters). I have been begging Scotty for MONTHS to get some and they finally came in the mail. I'm a wee bit excited!

So thanks to those six people ... you sure made a girl who felt like a walking disaster feel pretty good about herself. Even if it is on the superficial level ... Give me a break I had a rough week.

Thankfully the pain from the blood clots gradually lessened throughout the week. Now the pain is nearly gone. I just get worn out easily. I am thinking hoping now things will start settling down now!

Honeymoon

Our honeymoon was spent in Southern California. Nowhere crazy. But I was more than ok with the quick flight, warmer weather and the beach!

We spent a few days in Oceanside where we visited the San Diego LDS temple, had the most amazing mexican food in Old Town San Diego, walked around La Jolla and Coronado.

 San Diego LDS Temple

La Jolla.

Then we went a little more north and stayed a few days in Newport Beach. I fell in love with that area. We rented bikes and rode along the beach, laid out in the sun, visited the Newport Beach Temple and drove up and down, gawking at the rows of amazing houses on Balboa Island. 

 At the beach.

I swear I didn't wear that shirt every day! That's embarrassing.

One of the highlights was when we took a day trip up to Los Angeles and "happen" to run into my brother who is serving in the San Fernando Mission. He had no idea (I hope I didn't get him in trouble) and with a little puzzle piecing and persuasion from my mom and Scott, we may or may not have figured out where my brother was. I wish he could've been at the wedding but he is where he is supposed to be ... and "running" into him made up for it a little.

Proof. I miss that boy!