I have been thinking lately a lot about this whole blogging thing.
Sometimes I love it.
Sometimes I hate it.
Sometimes I just don't know.
I love being able to keep up and in touch with my friends and family who are spread across the country. I love that I have reconnected with people from my past. I love the inspiration and ideas I get from others. I love reading the funny stories people have (some of my daily entertainment comes from these). I mean shouldn't we use the internet and modern technology for something good? I feel like in this sense, blogging is a good thing in the world.
It just seems so superficial sometimes. Like look at my perfect cookie cutter life and the gourmet dinner I made for my amazing husband and two children, all while crafting in my perfectly manicured nails and saving the world single-handedly. The fact of the matter is nobody's life is perfect. We all have ups and downs, though it is easy to forget when reading other people's blogs and then looking back at our own lives through a magnifying glass.
That is where the internal battle comes in. I love to write. I am grateful I have finally found a way to keep a record of my life. I was horrible at the whole journal thing before. Problem is I feel like we all need to be real.
I have a pretty good life, don't get me wrong, but it is definitely not perfect. I am probably stating the obvious for those who know me well. I especially appreciate when I feel like people are real. It makes me feel a little more normal. I do keep a private blog that I use as my actual journal (which I combine both together each year with this one and print it up). That is besides the point.
I want to be real, but also I am a pretty private person and in general I feel like there are just certain things that should not be shared via public domain. I'm not saying that is it wrong to only post positive things. But I think there is a balance. So how does one find the balance? That is exactly what I have been wondering. Now do you understand this whole love-hate relationship I have with blogging?
Since I have been talking about being real. Here is the real me right now...
The truth is I am super stressed about finding a new place to live. I don't know what I want or where I should be. My lease is up and I'll be homeless in three weeks if I can't find anything. The truth is that I am frustrated about starting over when it comes to the whole roommate thing (at 25 years old mind you) because the truth is most of my close girlfriends are married. The truth is it is hard to make girlfriends at our age. The truth is I am super frustrated with the whole dating thing and it baffles me that it can actually work out. Heck I'm even baffled on how girls even get asked out. The truth is I am starting to think there is something wrong with me. The truth is I had another date with Gym last night cause I had nothing better to do. The truth is today was the first day in over a week that I made my bed. (I know mom, you've taught me better). Yep. I guess that is the real me...as of today.
So there you have it. Another rambling session from yours truly.
5 comments:
The truth is...I might copy this post and put it on my blog, because it is EXACTLY how I feel 99% of the time. The whole post.
The only thing I can say is that today I bore my testimony at church (which I NEVER EVER do) and I said to everyone "I know the Lord looks out for me and knows what I need better than I do. And I have faith that he will see me through."
I'm sure this doesn't solve any of your problems of "truths" but hopefully it helps a little. Because I am right there with you, in the exact same boat.
It's seriously sooooo true about everyone posting about how "perfect" their life is. It does make me want to barf! Of course everyone wants to show everyone else the good parts of their lives and not the bad. Of course they're going to show you the good and try to get as many compliments as they can on their posts. It does become overwhelming! I get really overwhelmed, especially being a new mom. I feel like so many of my friends (that I can see on blogs) have the mom thing down to a T.... from the cooking, to the cleaning, to the decorating, to the teaching their kids everything they need to know. It's hard not to compare yourself. But you have to know that not everyone's lives are perfect. I've really learned that over the last few months. I've learned that no matter what people appear to be on the outside, we all have our own issues and trials and most of us are just trying to tread water. No one's perfect, as I've learned. It always makes me think of this line in "American Honey" by my new favorite group, Lady Antibellum (however you spell that!). It says something like "trying to be everything makes you lose your mind." I don't know why, but that line has really struck me and stuck with me. It's like you need to be the best at what you're good at and not try to be everything else that everyone else is trying to be. Their's enough of everyone else out there, try to be the best and the only you!! And I speak a lot to myself when I say all of this. But I'm glad you did this post. I think everyone's in the same boat but won't admit to it! They only want to post about the good and not the bad. And it's annoying when the good posts are to brag or to have everyone look at how awesome they are. Anyway, sorry to go on and on about this. I'll get off my soap box now! Ha!! You'll make it through this hard time. I know it's so much easier said than done, but the Lord knows you and knows what you stand in need of and won't leave you hanging. Let me know if you need anything from across the country!! Ha! Love you!!
girls rule and boys drool. always have, always will.
"having faith in the Lord, means having faith in his timing." -Neal A. Maxell.
Love ya!
I always thought you were awesome when we lived together and thought it was a honor to call you friend. And seriously those boys don't know what they're missing. I know that doesn't make life easier or better but I was always amazed at how strong you were. And...Sounds like you need a trip to the beach! You can come stay at my place anytime! :)
Lisa, I loved Adrienne's comment it is all so true. I know my sister Heidi stopped blogging for a while because of this but she decided that blogging is her outlet and it helps her explore and be herself. I begged her to not stop blogging and I say the same to you. I love reading your posts and I feel like it lets me read right into your mind. You can quote me on that... haha...I'm a mind reader!! Anyway, thank you for your honesty it is true and real just like you miss lisa elizabeth. i love your guts.
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